The 1985 Project Part 21: Sting - The Dream of the Blue Turtles

The first record in this project that was a chore to listen to

Every Monday I’ve been writing about an album from 1985, starting with the 40 records which placed in that year’s Village Voice Pazz and Jop Poll, with the intention of looking at other albums when I get finished with these.

I saw the Police every year between 1980 and 1983, and three of those four shows were among my favorite musical memories of the decade. There was something special about the way those three players bounced off each other – Sting’s pretensions held in check by the immaculate pinging of Stewart Copeland’s cymbals and his intricate rhythms holding down a groove underneath Andy Summers’ wide ranging guitar parts. I still like most of those songs when I hear them.

But Sting without the two guys he didn’t get along with personally? Not something I want to experience. I actually attended the St. Louis appearance of the Blue Turtles tour. They played the outdoor theater Muny Opera, which has always had a few rows of free seats in the very back. My friends and I got there early enough to get in, but I don’t think we stayed for more than four or five songs. Despite the impeccable talents of the band members, the show was not speaking to me in any real way.

That means I haven’t listened to this music in 40 years. I know I played The Dream of the Blue Turtles a few times, hoping against hope I’d find the magic key to make me continue to like somebody who had been a fave for several years. As I had also been a fan of Branford Marsalis for a couple years at that point, I was excited when I first heard of this project. Pianist Kenny Kirkland was on my radar, too. I don’t think I knew drummer Omar Hakim at the time, though I believed the press statements that he should be respected. Daryl Jones on bass was unknown to me, too, as it would be a few years before he would nab the Rolling Stones job as Bill Wyman’s replacement. But it was clearly an interesting idea to mix jazz with the kind of songs Sting was doing in the Police.

The musicianship is terrific on the record. Kirkland provides all sorts of interesting sonic textures and chord shapes; Marsalis is mixed lower than he should be but he plays some sharp solos, especially on soprano sax. The rhythm section is in the pocket and driving at the same time. Sting mostly plays guitar, but he’s mixed even lower than Marsalis.

It's the goddam songs that get on my nerves. Five of these were hit singles to some degree or another. I don’t mind “Fortress Around Your Heart,” which sounds like it could have fit on Ghost in the Machine.” And “If You Love Somebody Set Them Free,” despite its desperate attempt to undercut the creepiness of “Every Breath You Take” by actually allowing the object of his affections some measure of subjectivity, is the kind of melody and hook that Sting still had in his back pocket.

But, I don’t really care for anything else on the record. “Love is the Seventh Wave” sounds like the template for the Beach Boys’ horrid “Kokomo” – it’s hard to believe Sting brought a serious reggae feel to early Police songs when you hear the insipid touristy vibe of this one. And then he starts quoting himself, “Every breath you take I’ll be watching you” before lampooning himself with the kind of lines Weird Al Yankovic would have rejected – “every cake you bake, every leg you break.”

“Russians” has to stand as one of the most naïve geopolitical takes in all pop music – “We share the same biology regardless of ideology.” Seriously, Sting? Has common humanity and love of one’s children ever prevented war throughout history? I mean, I know the fear of nuclear attack or accident was still prevalent in 1984; we didn’t feel in our bones yet the greater likelihood of environmental catastrophe from climate change. We also didn’t know yet how soon the Soviet Union would disappear, nor that forty years later we’d still not get along with Russia for reasons less ideological than participation in games of power. But with a forgettable tune and lyrics that make me wince, “Russians” is the worst song on the record.

“We Work the Black Seam” has its heart in the right place, siding with the miners striking in England around that time. It sounds, though, like a second-rate Peter Gabriel nick. “Moon Over Bourbon Street” has atmosphere, but it doesn’t seem likely Sting knew any more about New Orleans nightlife than what he’d seen in half-forgotten old movies. “Children’s Crusade” is a heavy-handed anti-war song, or at least anti-young people in war. The reworked Police song “Shadows in the Rain” did not improve on the original. “The Dream of the Blue Turtles” had a promisingly oddball jazz feel to it, but it’s so short and underdeveloped that it is quickly forgotten – absurdly, it was actually nominated for a Grammy in the jazz instrumental category.

You may recall this is the third album in the Pazz and Jop Poll of 1985 to include Sting – he sang on the Lost in the Stars tribute to Kurt Weill, and on the Dire Straits song “Money For Nothing.” I owned all three of these records at the time. In all the years since, I’ve never acquired another record with Sting involved in it.

I’m gonna give this one 4 points out of 10.